Justifying Leaving

I knew that there would be violence, but at one point he truly loved me and enjoyed me between the violent spells. I did not fear violence towards children, as he seemed to be a champion for children. He is not  though. He is not who I thought he was. I don't know if I want to stay or go. I did not put conditions on staying, although I will leave if I have to use mace, even once. That is the only condition that is justified to me. Although I could justify leaving to others if that did not happen, I could not justify it to myself, at least not Biblically. Do I still believe in all that anyway? I don't know, but I'm not sure if it is even relevant.